When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.
The just judge is not an excuse to threaten. It is where Jesus put the case.
Week 4 of 4
He did not revile
The story you repeat is either love or a separation.
He who covers an offense promotes love; but he who repeats a matter separates best friends.
Proverbs 17:9
Peter says that when Christ was reviled, he did not revile in return. When he suffered, he did not threaten. He entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. Then Peter tells the church not to repay evil for evil or insult for insult, but to bless. Proverbs says the one who covers an offense seeks love, and the one who repeats a matter separates close friends. Your wife is the closest friend your vow allows. The way you tell her story to other men, to your mother, or to yourself is either a covering or a separation.
Scripture
Formal study reading, written for this series
Formal study reading, written for this series
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
Blessing is the assignment. You were called to it.
Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
Repeating the matter is how close friends become opponents.
NASB, the Amplified, and the ESV open on Bible Hub. The Legacy Standard Bible opens on its own reader. Close, Expanded, and Easy on this page are original study readings. WEB is the World English Bible, public domain.
Covering is not lying
Proverbs 17:9 is not a command to hide abuse or to call evil good. Other texts require light, witnesses, and protection. Covering here is the refusal to parade a fault, the way love in 1 Corinthians 13 does not rejoice at wrong. Repeating a matter is the man who needs the story told until everyone agrees he is the injured party. That repetition separates the closest alliance he has.
First Peter 2:23 is the pattern for a man who has actually been wronged, not only for a man who dislikes her tone. Jesus had a real case. He did not spend it on threats. He entrusted it. You are allowed to tell the truth to a pastor. You are not allowed to recruit a jury out of your friends and call it processing. Blessing is the calling. It will feel too small for the story you have been building. Say it anyway.
In the house
Stop the repeat. If you have a regular listener for her faults — a friend, a parent, a group — end that telling this week. If you need counsel, choose one wise man and ask for help obeying, not for help building the case.
Bless her in a sentence that is not code for a correction. If you have reviled, go back and take the word down. Do not add why you were justified.
Seven days
At the table
- 1Who hears the repeated matter, and what is that repetition doing to the friendship of your marriage?
- 2Where have you reviled and called it honesty?
- 3What would entrusting the case to God change about your threats, even the quiet ones?
- 4What blessing have you withheld until she admits the file?
Your note
Stays on this device. No account.
A prayer
Father, you judge justly, and your Son did not revile back. I have repeated matters until they separated me from my wife. I have wanted a jury more than I wanted peace. Forgive the insult. Teach me to cover what love covers, to speak what must be spoken in the light, and to bless because I was called to it. I entrust the case to you. Amen.